an angel
Anyone who knew my mother would immediately be able to say that she lit up a room. She was a truly inspirational person. I find myself thinking of her more often now that she's gone, which I is a terrible admission. It's funny how someone who plays such an integral part in your life has to disappear before you take notice. I suppose most children feel similarly toward their parents at various times throughout their lives, often loathing their intrusive ways and grating reminders to call home.
But this is different. Now she isn't there. I can't be reminded to call home by a grating voice across the phone.
It was September of 2004 when I last spoke to her. I remember driving to Baton Rouge from New Orleans to see her at the hospital where she was receiving yet another round of chemotherapy. I remember seeing her whispy hair and thinking of why it had grown back so soon. I remember everyone leaving the room and being alone with her before the morphine (or dilaudid, whichever) made her eyes dilate and her speech begin to slow and take on an all too painfully southern drawl.
That was the last time we really spoke. She died one month later, and yes I talked to her and she talked to me, but the sum of words do not add up to a conversation.
When time was growing short, she constantly worried about being forgotten. She worried needlessly.
But this is different. Now she isn't there. I can't be reminded to call home by a grating voice across the phone.
It was September of 2004 when I last spoke to her. I remember driving to Baton Rouge from New Orleans to see her at the hospital where she was receiving yet another round of chemotherapy. I remember seeing her whispy hair and thinking of why it had grown back so soon. I remember everyone leaving the room and being alone with her before the morphine (or dilaudid, whichever) made her eyes dilate and her speech begin to slow and take on an all too painfully southern drawl.
That was the last time we really spoke. She died one month later, and yes I talked to her and she talked to me, but the sum of words do not add up to a conversation.
When time was growing short, she constantly worried about being forgotten. She worried needlessly.
posted by Mr. The Buffalo at 7:44 PM
2 Comments:
There actually aren't many days that go by where I am not reminded of your mom in some kind of way - she is the type of person who is impossible to forget!
I know deep in my heart that your mom (and you for that matter) have helped me become the person that I am today. I would have never been able to survive H.S. without you and your family's support in such an unfamiliar place for me and my family. I always felt accepted in your mom's classroom, her car (for a ride home), her conversation (for some great advice) and into her house (which I always held in the highest regard).
I do wish that I was better with words and could accurately express just how much your mom has influenced my life and the lives of my brothers, but I find it hard to even start as nothing would really do it justice.
thanks D - its very seldom i talk about this to anyone, let alone write about it on the web... I dunno - something just made me want to.
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